Genius Ways to Introduce a New Baby to the Family

These are genius ways to introduce a new baby to the family. Firstborn, second-born, third-born, etc. A new family member is a transition for everyone. These are some ways we introduced a baby to baby to our family and may I add that it went quite well.

Until getting pregnant with my second child I had not thought about introducing a new child into the family. While I was pregnant I realized that although with my first it was all about me and my husband this time it included my oldest daughter as well. She was going to have to face the changes of not being held by mommy. Getting sick all the time and not wanting to play. These things were just pregnancy related and had nothing to do with the challenges of a new sibling. I also recognized the sensitive nature of a child’s transition from (in our case) an only child to an older sibling.

These are some of the ways that I learned from friends, family, Pinterest, and ideas that I came up with to introduce a new baby to older siblings.

Belly Fun

At first, a baby doesn’t kick in a way that can be felt by mom or anyone because it is too small. As it grows so does it’s movements. Kicks that can be felt by others are a great concrete way for children to realize that there is a baby in mommies belly that is alive and well. If you know how to make your baby move have your oldest little’s experience the fun by prodding baby in a way that allows the siblings to feel it.

If they are a little older and it is a good idea to take them along with you to the sonogram. Seeing the pictures and hearing the heartbeat can also allow your child to process this transition into being an older sibling. If they are too young the process of waiting and not being able to run around could be more stressful so just have them stay at home and share the pictures with them later. If they are at that age a picture most likely wouldn’t be fully realized anyways.

Learning to Wait

Also, if this is your second child try to prepare the first born with having to wait for things. As an only child you probably attend to their needs right away. For example, if they ask for milk mom or dad immediately gets up and gets them milk. Perfectly normal for an only child household. When a new baby comes they will need things more immediately then the older child which means they are going to have to wait for things they previously didn’t.

While you are still pregnant (and not in the throws of a poop explosion) practice having your oldest child wait for things. They ask for milk and say I will get it for you in a little bit we have to wait. So when you little bundle does arrive and makes a Picasso on the changing table. You are able to tell your oldest to wait for their milk ther isn’t a meltdown.

Big Sister or Brother Classes

Most hospitals and birthing centers have programs for older siblings to learn about the new bundle of joy that is going to arrive. Taking them into the delivery rooms showing them the nursey. Even showing them a newborn baby. It was incredibly beneficial for our oldest to see what a newborn would be like, as she had never seen one before.

As first-time parents learn about what is normal in a newborn, older kids need to learn as well. It’s okay that they might have blue hands and feet, or that they might have different looking skin. The more they are exposed to the less of a shock it will be with their new sibling.

Language

In our family, we chose to use the words “our baby.” At times my husband would say mommies baby, and I would gently correct him saying that it is OUR baby. This inclusion of everyone made the experience more inclusive for all parties not just my oldest but also my husband.

Giving the older siblings a role to be proud of sets up the relationship they are going to have with the baby. If they are set up to be excluded from the experience it will foster resentment and feelings of parental loss. This way everyone is taking part in the transition that pregnancy and childbirth have to the family unit. To this day my daughter says that her younger sister is her baby. I encourage this (even though I went through the pregnancy and labor) because it highlights the ownership she feels in having a sister.

Big Sister or Brother Gifts

This is something we did on the arrival of our second born. When babies are born, the family comes and greets the newborn at the hospital. Usually bringing little gifts for them. When our second was about to arrive we encouraged people visiting not to bring something for the baby but for the older sibling.

We put together a wishlist for big sisteritems, books, T-shirts, dolls, etc. We called it our big sister celebration. I also made sure to make a big gift out of quiet things for her to do in the hospital. Such as coloring books, picture books, sticker books, and play-doh. We made sure to tell her that she was getting these gifts because she was now a big sister. That this was her day to celebrate being promoted to big sister!

The jealousy that is so often associated with older siblings really has to do with feeling left out and feeling inferior to the baby. If it is considered a celebration about you becoming a big sister you don’t have those feelings. You are still getting attention and you are proud of being an older sibling. Just make sure to allow your visitors to know in advanced.

Formal Introduction

Before the arrival of the baby pick out a gift for your older child to give to the baby. Give them free range (out of the baby section) to pick whatever toy that they want the baby to have. Talk about how the baby will come and be so happy to see you, and they will be so happy to see the toy you bought them. Of course in reality a newborn will not care about the toy, but if the older sibling is pre-school aged as they usually are, this will make the most sense to them. As they are excited by new toys.

While at the hospital depending on how old the child is holding the baby with assistance or by themselves allows them to bond. If they are younger give them a Boppy pillow to hold and help support the newborn in a healthy way. You can also just help them hold the baby by sitting behind them. Show them their little toes, and fingers.

Talk about their fragility and show them the soft spots on their head. Talk about how it is different from how big and strong they are. All of these things encourage your older child to realize the advantage they have over this tiny being and demonstrate the need to get gentle.

After Coming Home

As you are transitioning into newborn life again with your baby your older child will start to transition as well. You might note regression in potty training, or other areas that your older child will regress in. This is perfectly normal and is just a sign that there is a change in family life.

My oldest wanted to hold “her baby” all the time so we had her hold her about once a day. At the time my oldest was almost 4 and would want to help with a lot of things. She would want to change diapers and give her sister baths. All things that were impractical for her to do. So we had a doll for her. She could change, bath, or feed the doll. While mommy was feeding, changing, or bathing her sister. Of course, if there was an appropriate place to allow her to help I would. Such as handing wipes, soap, or a new diaper.

My oldest daughter never went through regression and never had jealousy of her sister. She never has displayed violence towards her. All these little things have ingrained the idea into her that her sister is a part of her family. That she is responsible as the older sister and that her role as an older sister is honored and celebrated.

Now that my youngest is 2 they have fought over toys, but their relationship is very precious. They enjoy each other most of the time. So when I hear about friends having their second child I try to share these tips with them, as they were with me. As I have now shared with you. They fostered a beautiful relationship with my girls and I hope it lasts a lifetime.

Until next time…