10 Things That Annoy Patients (that nurses do)

As a nurse myself I started with a list of things that annoys nurses that patients do. Since then I have had a couple of medical issues. These things have put me on the other side of the stethoscope. It lead to hospitalization, multiple specialists, and continuing appointments and testing that won’t end in the near future. So I wanted to do a list of things that nurses do, that annoy patients.

Some of these can be the results of someone just having a bad day. You need to remember that the person you are working with is having one of the worst days of their life. Act accordingly. Stay compassionate, and understanding, and remain the conduit between the patient and the doctor. Stay the most trusted profession that we have become. And try not to do these 10 things that annoy patients.

1. Won’t let you sleep
2. Super busy
3. Less than stellar bedside manner
4. Uncompassionate
5. Being talked down to
6. Use words you can’t understand
7. Can’t say the words “I don’t know”
8. Won’t listen
9. Ignore you
10. Communication Difficulties

1. Won’t let you sleep

This might seem pretty benign. When you are in an inpatient or residential setting sleep in general can be tough. When I was inpatient there were loud beeping sounds and a roommate that was not quiet. Sounds come from pagers and intercoms, lights were too bright, and blankets were scratchy. It’s a wonder anyone sleeps at all while there. On top of that, you have a nurse that is coming in usually every hour or a couple of hours to check on you. By the time I fell asleep a phlebotomist, a resident, and an attending came parading through. This is a common frustration that a nurse can’t do much about other than to be mindful of their movement and noise level upon entering.

2. Super Busy

Nurses are understaffed and overworked, and since the pandemic have been burning out in massive numbers. All of this leads to a heavier workload that is often impossible for one person to do. As a patient, it can feel like you are inconveniencing someone. Just for needing to go to the bathroom, having to need a pillow adjusted, or getting more water. When someone finally does come they are acting rushed and annoyed that you have a fundamental need. Which leads to..

3. Less than stellar bedside manner

Bad bedside manner results in someone who is acting like the last place they want to be is at work and helping you. As a patient, you feel vulnerable because you are often dependent on these medical professionals without much choice. This kind of nurse might make a snide remark underneath their breath about you, what you need, or why you are there.

I was once left in a cold hallway outside of imaging. I had no blankets, I was unable to speak to anyone, I had no call bell, and nobody walked by or checked on me for what seemed like a long time as I shivered in the hallway. Finally, a radiation tech came to get me and saw that I was shivering and had goosebumps he kindly gave me a warm blanket. This can include…

4. Uncommpasionate

As a nurse myself I got into nursing because I care. I wanted to give people the compassionate nursing they deserve and need. As a patient, it feels like they don’t care about your needs. Feeling judged for existing and taking up space on their floor. Often being met with an attitude that results in being talked down to when asking questions or trying to clarify what is the next steps or plan.

5. Being talked down to

Some nurses try to overcompensate for doctors and their medical jargon by talking to you like you’re a child. Explaining things to people in effective ways means you need to pay attention to people’s understanding and where they are. As a patient, it feels demeaning to be treated like you have no education or understanding. Even if you have a lower IQ you should not be made to feel like a child when you are in contact with a nurse.

6. Use words you can’t understand

This is when a medical professional, usually a student or new nurse comes in and is using medical terminology. As a fresh nurse, you want to speak like the doctors and other nurses you hear. You want to show off your skills that you just got tested on or learned about. So in your exuberance, you continue to speak like that to patients. As a patient, this is confusing and intimidating. You don’t want to admit you don’t understand because you may be very educated and feel embarrassed to admit it.

In an attempt to understand you go to a search engine and look things up that was just talked about. Googling something can lead to misinformation, misunderstandings, and going to misleading conclusions about things because they were not adequately explained. I oftentimes feel overwhelmed by the information when speaking with someone and then I go blank when I am asked if I have any questions. Hours later I am trying to explain to someone else what happened and I have gaps in my understanding which lead to a Google search. The best thing to do is ask questions, ask for clarity, and if things pop up later on send a message to the provider so that you are getting the answers that fit your unique situation best.

7. Can’t say the words “I don’t know”

This is something that both nurses and doctors are guilty of. Saying I don’t know is an uncomfortable thing as you don’t want to have the patient doubt your medical prowess, but it often leads to demeaning the patient themselves.

Instead, a nurse could say something like “oh I am not sure, I haven’t seen that before” or “I really don’t know about that, maybe the doctor will know when they come in” both would not demean or judge the patient. Instead, nurses will often say, well this is probably just anxiety. Or, I see you have depression listed in your history I am sure it’s related to that.

8. Won’t listen

This is another one that nurses and doctors are guilty of. In my experience, this happens the most with more experienced nurses that believe they have seen all there is to be seen. Medicine is a mix of art and science, but most just focus on science and forget that there is art. Medicine is an ever-changing, ever-expanding, fluid practice. There are trends, and usual ways things present, but this is not the experience all people have. As a patient when a diagnosis gets rarer, you are more of an expert in it than a medical professional.

Unfortunately, some nurses don’t want to admit they don’t know about it and so they take certain things you are saying and cherry-pick them to fit what they know. You can’t possibly have rarer forms of heart issues, you just have anxiety because you have a high pulse. A patient can’t have legitimate pain because his pulse isn’t elevated enough so he must be drug-seeking. You have abnormally large amounts of blood with your menses, but surely that’s just your period and you must not have noticed before. If you are a nurse you need to be mindful of everything a patient is saying, be aware of your bias, and jump to conclusions.

9. Ignore you

Being ignored has gotten worse since the technology of electronic medical records has been used so widely. Instead of facing someone and looking them in the eye, you are facing a computer screen, typing away, asking questions so you can tick off the boxes. You aren’t focusing on the individual and giving them your undivided attention. Even when assessments are done it seems disjointed and is only on one part of you, never truly looking at you as a whole person. As a patient, being ignored in this way is not sinister or being done in a mean way, but it affects how you feel the interaction went. Then there is the very purposeful and sinister type of being ignored because the nurse has assumed you are there for no good reason.

I have a friend that was in excruciating pain while in the ER she was moaning and couldn’t stay quiet because of the levels of pain. She was moved to a single room and the door was closed so no one could hear her as they were convinced she was drug-seeking. She ended up having advanced appendicitis and needed to have emergency surgery. Due to the fact that she was assumed to be drug-seeking, she wasn’t given pain medication or the care that she needed until much further into her stay. The nurse and other medical professionals subjected her to tortuous pain for no reason other than their own biases.

10. Communication Difficulties

This can include being culturally incompetent and not understanding why a Chinese American might have red round spots from cupping. Or an excited student just learning Spanish student trying it out on the job. Communication is of utmost importance for the nurse and the patient. To have a breakdown leads to unnecessary testing, ignored potential diagnosis, and just not great patient care.

Personally, I have seen this with my daughter quite often. Because she has an autism diagnosis but is verbal people don’t understand that she might not act like a neurotypical 9-year-old. She might not understand what you are talking about or what you are wanting her to do. It’s best to treat her as you would someone who is a couple of years younger than her. Show her what you are going to do with one of her stuffed animals first, before trying to do it to her so she knows what to expect. Don’t just hold her down, and make her do what you want her to do. It’s not going to be a good experience for you or her.

What can you do?

As a patient try to communicate with nurses when these things come up if you feel comfortable doing so. Advocate for yourself and if all else fails ask for a patient advocate. Sometimes playing up or down things can help. Other times you can try to stroke their ego to get someone to listen to you better. It’s tough when these things happen to you and you feel the very real vulnerability of being at the mercy of a medical professional that’s doing one of these things.

If you are in an outpatient situation always keep in mind that there are other places you can go to get care. It might take longer to get there, and it might require you to ask someone for a ride, but getting the care you deserve is the most important thing so that you stay healthy for all of the people who depend on you.

Until next time!