5 Ways to Deal with a Meltdown

Along with the awesome things that autism gives your child there are some less desirable things. The main one we face is meltdowns in public. This is 5 ways to deal with a meltdown. Along with the awesome things that autism gives your child there are some less desirable things. The main one we face is meltdowns in public. This is 5 ways to deal with a meltdown.

My daughter becomes a puddle on the ground when she becomes overwhelmed. This is usually by external stimuli we can’t control. I always end up having to carry her to the car or into the house. As she kicks and screams bloody murder. Where she can calm down and regroup from the sensory overload she was facing.

Recently, I had children and youth called on me. I was carrying my daughter to the car during one of her meltdowns. Which of course was unfounded but prompted me to really look at how we are dealing with my daughters meltdowns. These are some helpful tips that we have learned along the way to help with an autistic meltdown.

1. Antecedent

An antecedent is a fancy term for before. This is looking at what happens before the behavior or meltdown occurs. An example would be playing with a sibling and the expectation of sharing their toys. An antecedent is not just important for a kiddo with ASD but for any behavior, any person is having. That means that you are not looking at just the child’s behavior. You are looking at what was precipitating the behavior. In the example I gave the antecedent would be sharing toys with a sibling.

Some other good questions for the antecedent would be, what was the environment, what was the sound level, were there bright lights? Looking at these factors can help you implement practical solutions. Such as wearing sunglasses to the dentist, or wearing headphones to the mall.

This should always be the first and most important step when looking at difficult behavior or any behavior. This is where plan B takes place which I talk more in this post.

2. Talking it Out

Coming down to your child’s level and calmly asking what they need is also a good idea. This is another thing that must be done in the earlier stages of a meltdown. Later on, most lose their words. Try to be as calm and deescalate as much as possible. If they are screaming talk in a slow, low, and calm tone. This helps them to try to bring it down themselves. Let them know you are there with them. That you are there to help them calm down if they can.

Ask them what they need, or want. If it is something that they can have or you can do, praise them for using their words. Consider giving it to them so that using their words is reinforced. Letting them know using words gets you much further than behavior. This is not a plan B approach but it is a TBRI approach to behavior modification. If you would like more information on Plan B approaches to check out this post.

3. Bag of Tricks

This is also something that you can use when you notice that your child is starting to get agitated or overwhelmed. Fill up a backpack, purse, or another bag that you can carry around with you. I call this an emergency calm down kit. Most like the calm down spot I have done before, but a mobile version. Putting your child’s favorite calm down items in.

Examples are sensory bottles, fidgets, small snacks, a weighted stuffed animal, a body sock, etc. As long as it’s something that works for your child to calm down put it in there. Next week I will talk more about what we put in our emergency calm down bag.

4. Technology

Most of my friends and loved ones with ASD, love technology. They enjoy listening to music, or playing games on a handheld device. A lot of times this can be used as a preferred item to help calm down an individual. Allowing them to block out the other stimuli for a little bit to better regain there composure. I love to listen to music that calms me. It really helps me when I am agitated, angry, or sad.

Carrying around an iPad is a new part of my daughters IEP since the aforementioned incident. This is a great addition to her positive behavior plan. I must add that although screen time can help during a meltdown that the AAP recommends limiting screentime with children. I talk more about that in my how to entertain a toddler without a screen. So, just remember it should be in moderation.

5. Leaving the Situation

This is the last resort and this is what I forced my daughter to do when she was completely overwhelmed and no longer safe. In a perfect world, you would be able to catch the meltdown before it gets to this level and you would be able to calmly help them resolve it with one of the previous suggestions. Taking them by the hand and allowing them to go to a quiet space sometimes is the only thing left.

A lot of times I am able to catch her before this would occur because I have known her for her whole life and I know her cues. Now that she is going to school and other environments which I don’t have control over and ones where they don’t know her as well. They find themselves in the midst of a meltdown much more often than we do at home.

I do always tell her what I am going to be doing such as taking her somewhere encouraging her to walk on her own. Sometimes, that is just not going to happen. If you are at home this is the perfect time to implement your calm down spot. Or use the technology that is available there.

Keep it in perspective.

These are the top 5 ways I deal with an autistic meltdown. Remember that these kiddos are not having behavior on purpose. Although it might seem like it most of the time this is out of their control and only in the earlier stages can they even think about changing their behavior. Never think that they have the skills to just stop having a meltdown.

Even if they do deescalate be very gentle and calming for the rest of the day. Adjust your expectations of the chores they have to do or the responsibilities they have. As this can send them right back down the spiral of a meltdown.

Living with autism is not about being less neuro-diverse it is about being able to adapt and live in a neuro-typical world. So, trying to have them calm down and be able to function is always the goal but if it is a safety issue or they are unable to deescalate removing them from the situation is the last resort.

I hope with this information you are better able to help a person with ASD to calm down and help them through a difficult time. Read more about the neurodiversity movement and what I am talking about here.

If you like this content or having any questions or comments be sure to put them in the comments below. As always if you would like to become a part of the mama of the drama family hit that subscribe button.

Until next time…